The company I work for (well sort of) has been sending out emails recently with the subject "Expect the Unexpected" and just containing a photo of something supposedly unexpected.
One of the photos, for instance, was a young girl standing next to a tin of blue paint having daubed the walls. Unfortunate, perhaps - but certainly not unexpected, surely?
Life is full of unexpected things. Almost every day contains something you didn't know was going to happen. And that's what makes life great. Well one of the things. Béarnaise Sauce is another thing which makes life great. Anyway, I digress.
The other morning I was on the tube on the way to work and there was a guy opposite me. Probably around 40 years old, he was a portly chap with stubble and a mess of unkempt hair. He was wearing earphones which were leaking sound so I could hear the tinny distant sound of a voice. That voice was Susan Boyle. Singing "I Dreamed A Dream". The guy was mouthing along to the words with his eyes half closed, and then I noticed that there was a tear running down his cheek. I wasn't expecting that.
But it's not only on the tube. Inside the HSBC in Chiswick, just beyond the cashpoints and automated paying-in machines is a wooden beam. It's just over six feet from the ground and sticks out in front of the desks of the advisors. On the beam is a bright yellow sign, reading "Mind Your Head". Next to the words, there's a helpful picture of someone of indeterminate gender hitting their head on an obstacle - for those who are unsure what someone hitting their head on a beam may look like. But underneath the words are the same words written again, but this time in Braille. Handy.
On my way home from Chiswick this evening, I was on the District Line. Opposite me was a guy talking to a woman who I assumed was a work colleague. He was relaying a story of how he went for dinner with his fiance. He told details of the meal, and how lovely the whole evening was. Conversation then turned to the baby his fiance had just had. It continued for at least five minutes. At which point it become obvious that the woman had misheard much earlier, and for the whole conversation had believed that her male colleague had been to dinner with Beyoncé.
What is to be expected though, is that I can't think of a witty way to end this post. Bye then.